Allotment

I appear to have half a small allotment.
The garden here is a shallow layer of topsoil over what looks like landfill. It's going to take forever to sort out and will be back breaking to do. And it's semi-permanently swamp-like and flooded. I keep looking at it and planning to dig, clear, and get parts ready for planting, but it never gets done.
Meanwhile, in the next village the community garden has run out of funding and has to make ends meet and they have a set of large raised beds they are renting out as small allotment/veg plots, and a friend and I have one between us. It needs clearing and digging over, but it's big enough to produce some veg this year!
The plan, amongst requests from the kids, is for a few potato plants, lots of carrots, a pumpkin, some onions, sprouts, courgette, garlic, chard, beans, lettuce, and peas. At home we'll grow soft fruits in the garden; peppers and maybe tomatoes in pots. I already have a blackcurrant bush and a few raspberry canes in the ground from last year - need to trim and tie those; and a red gooseberry and tayberry in pots. We've had an offer of a few strawberry plants too.
I'm already looking forward to the sun on my back and fresh produce on the table.

Is someone there with you?

Back in late October 1995, I can't remember what I was doing, I'm not even exactly sure what day it was, but I do remember the phone rang. You know that feeling when you know something is wrong? When your stomach drops through the floor? Then the first words you hear are, "Is someone there with you?" and you know that the news isn't just bad, it's the worst, that your world is about to fall apart.
That.
My brother and I hadn't been close in years, he lived in Bristol, as did I, but I rarely saw him. I know so little about his life as it was at that point. He was 22, a good looking young man with so much going for him. But, for some reason, he decided that this world wasn't for him. No-one knows the reason, but at that point in his life he chose to take his own life.

When the phone rang, it was our parents, having to tell one of their children that the other one was dead.
He's been gone 18 years now, and today would have been his 41st birthday, and I can honestly say it doesn't get easier, you just learn to cope with it. It gets better, but it doesn't ever really go away.
It tore my world apart. It changed who I am forever.

We played Metallica at his funeral. It's a beautiful ballad. Not exactly ruined for me now, but I can't listen to it without that edge of memory, the knowledge of where, when and why it was played.
I'm the survivor, is that the right word? The one left behind. The one who has to live with the aftermath of suicide. I will live with it all my life.
I'm the one who has to tell my children, when they ask about other members of our family, why don't we have Uncles and Aunts on your side, Mum? I have to tell them they had an Uncle but he died. I have to decide how much to tell them, what to tell them.
Suicide born of depression, from desperation, from isolation and fear, affects so many lives, sends ripples through so many years. I hope none of you have this as part of your lives, but if you do, then please take a moment to talk to someone. A friend, family, your doctor, or one of the helplines available. Someone will listen.
Papyrus - Prevention of Suicide in Young People
Samaritans
Survivors Of Bereavement by Suicide
Happy Birthday Simon.

Getting organised.

It's not raining! Yet. The clouds are gathering and the sky is darkening, but it's not actually raining as I type and hasn't been raining since I got up this morning.The evenings are slowly getting lighter and there are spikes of green coming up in a few places. It's not spring, not yet, but the early bulbs are starting to come through.
This morning I have caught up with the laundry and braved the shed - which needs completely emptying and sorting before I put things away in there again. It's a mess, but I wanted my garden fork.
I'm not going to hang the laundry out, the threat of rain is there and the air is too damp for anything to dry or even air properly.
The reason for the shed expedition? In my garden I have 2 lines of raw compost laid as a mulch on the surface in the hope that it will kill off anything underneath and provide the basis of a semi-raised bed. More of a mound than anything more formal, but it's an experiment and it needed forking over to see how it's doing underneath. It's actually doing OK. A light fork through to aerate the mound a bit, mix it up, and I can leave it alone while I add more, and it should be good for late spring planting, I hope. If not, I can skim off the mound into a heap, dig over and plant anyway.
I have, in pots for now, a red gooseberry bush and a tayberry cane and I want to add those to my soft fruits patch which already has a couple of raspberry canes and a blackcurrant bush. All of those will multiply later this year and although I'm not expecting lots of fruit this summer, I should get some.
What I really want is a couple of apple trees, but I need the ground to be less swamp-like before I get them so I can plant straight into the ground where I want them to go. Once I decide where I want them. I say them, but 1 would do if I can find a self fertile variety that tastes good, with a firm, crisp texture. Failing that, 2 to cross pollinate and 2 varieties for eating and cooking. And I want to prune them to a bush, or fan, or something easy to reach and manage.

Planning and Plotting

It's raining. This is Wales, and we live half way up a mountain - it often rains and when it does it settles in for a long stay. At least it's not hail, and the car wasn't frozen this morning. But the garden is sitting under an inch or so of standing water. It's not a serious flood, just saturated ground with a bit of water on top and the surface water is running off down the road. It's just there's a lot of it.
But I'm looking at my garden and it's a massive job to make it work.
There's not much top soil between the grass and the detritus underneath. I started clearing some growing space last summer and it was like digging into a landfill site. The soil is full of bits of metal, recognisable electrical parts, bits of lino and that's before I think about the stones, perennial weed roots and broken glass. It's such a massive job that I really don't want to even start. I've been using a thick layer of raw composting material along the areas where I want the first 2 veg beds in the hope that it will kill off the grass and weeds and make the digging a little bit easier. Or I could leave it heaped up, put in some box sides and make raised beds? I haven't decided yet.
Then last week I heard about the chance to maybe apply for an allotment, to share with a friend. With 2 of us working it we might get somewhere and it would give us growing space while I clear more of my garden for growing at home.
Sounds like a plan!

Round-up 2013

2013, you've been a lot of fun, plenty of change and lots of chaos too. 
Kitchen's done and is such an improvement. The use of space makes it a lovely, family living area.
Bathroom is also done - with a couple of bits that needed tightening or tinkering with, but it's done and looks much nicer than before. Couldn't do a lot with the space as it is what it is.
Still haven't won millions on the lottery....
Kittens are growing, and will need to go and be spayed in the new year, which is in under 24 hours now! Wow, how did that happen?
Christmas came and went, several times. We counted it up, and with various friends and family gatherings we'll have had 5 "Christmases" by the time we're done. Each one with a big dinner, crackers and gifts. I made a gingerbread house! I've never made one before and it was easier than I thought, and tasty too. I want to make a gingerbread Tardis next.
On to 2014 then and I got a Gardening calendar for Christmas and I aim to sort out some growing space in my garden and grow something I can eat. I have seeds for sprouts, carrots, courgette, chard, tomato and lettuce. I don't think the tomatoes will do well here, but the others should do OK. I think I have pumpkin seeds somewhere too, will have to go through and see what I actually have and start planning. I want to be eating things I picked or pulled or dug from the garden. I want to be washing soil off and complaining about slug damage.
2013 was mental, mad-busy and chaotic. It was loads of fun too, and there are so many happy times and positives to reflect on. 2014 is starting with the best of intentions and I hope will be better.
I'll keep you posted.

Days 11 and 12: Floor!

Day 11, yesterday, was a second coat of paint, and a chat with tenant liaison about a handful of little things that need sorting. Nothing to take pics of, no really big changes, not a lot to write about.

Day 12, today, was flooring. The kitchen floor is down, not the bathroom. Some sort of communication misadventure there, what a surprise.Kitchen floor looks good.
Also today was lots of other, smaller, jobs. The kitchen now has a window sill, the wonky door frame got patched with some plaster filler (I'm really not happy with the response there, or the result, but that's a chat with TL another day) and the kitchen unit plinths got fixed properly, most of them. There are a couple to be finished off tomorrow.

There have been bigger changes in the bathroom. The shower rail and curtain is up, and the shower is now plumbed in and working, both kids have used it and say it's good. The bathroom floor has been boarded but the flooring not laid yet - I lost track of what the excuse was but someone said it "wasn't on the job list." Someone else said they "don't know what flooring was chosen." And someone else said that the floor wasn't ready. So, I have no clue what happened there, and clearly, neither does anyone else. Allegedly the bathroom floor will be going in tomorrow.
Bathroom window sill is also in, and the bath side panels are on.
It's all looking good.
So, just a couple of days to go and there's a short list of things to be finished or looked at.

• Bathroom floor
• Possible very small leak in the bathroom 
• Toilet flush handle is loose
• Hole to be patched on landing ceiling
• Last kitchen unit plinths to be fixed
• Kitchen door frame
• Broken light bulb in kitchen light
• Seal round floors and units
• Paint touch up where patches have been done

There may be other things to pick up when I do a more detailed look for the final snagging day, but it's not a huge list and it's not major stuff.

Gratuitously cute pic

 

Kittens, about a month ago, aged around 2 months. 

Cute pic, just because I can, and it makes a change from building work! More kitchen and bathroom stuff tomorrow I expect.